Updated: Apr 22
I’d say I’m a pretty happy person.
A glass half-full type of person.
I rarely get angry and it takes a hell of a lot to annoy me.
However, I’m sure my relaxed attitude towards things has been mistaken for naivety many, many times, but that doesn’t bother me.
In fact, that’s my secret to happiness.
I don’t let things get to me.
That’s not to say I never encounter shitty situations or have to deal with shitty people, because I certainly do, I just choose not to get stressed out about it.
I’m not going to deny that when something does piss me off I don’t get hit with an initial wave of anger, frustration or disappointment, but there is always a point where you can decide to paddle out of that wave instead of letting it’s force send you tumbling uncontrollably along with it.
The important thing to remember is that making the choice to bite your tongue or let something slide does not mean defeat or that you’re weak.
Sometimes that’s actually the harder option, and I believe it takes a stronger person to be able to take a step back and decide not to get drawn into the drama and emotion of something.
My secret to happiness is about picking your battles.
Life’s too short to waste your time arguing over everything, and when an issue does come along that’s worth fighting for, are you going to have any energy left and are people going to want to listen?
It’s also about not sweating the small stuff.
When a situation doesn’t play out the way you planned, try looking at it from a different perspective. Are you going to feel the same way tomorrow after sleeping on it tonight? Rather than replaying things over and over in your head and obsessing over the smallest of details, switch your focus to working out a new plan or solution instead.
And taking an optimistic standpoint.
Dr Tim Sharp from The Happiness Institute says that “the way we think about the circumstances in which we live largely determine the extent to which we find them positive or negative”. In other words, think optimistically. Acknowledge the realities of your circumstances, but frame them in the best way possible and face up to them in a constructive way.
Ultimately, I like to save my energy for things that really matter.
I often see people turning molehills into mountains and worrying about things they can’t change, which only makes me think that must be a very stressful way to live.
Some people seem to thrive on drama, which I simply don’t understand, and I wonder whether that’s because it makes them feel like their life has more meaning or makes them feel important in some way.
I just find all of that exhausting.
I like my life like how I like my sauvignon blanc; smooth and buttery with a sweet aroma, not too complex, yet with hints of spice and a bit of zest. Ooh yeah.
If you find yourself in a shitty situation, before you let your emotions get the better of you, ask yourself some questions:
Is it really that big of a deal?
Is it your problem to fix?
Can you actually change anything?
Or will it simply be a waste of your time, an unnecessary expense of your energy and a disruption to your peace?
What is your secret to happiness?